Tips to reconnect with friends following COVID-19 pandemic

SEATTLE — Plenty of relationships have taken a hit since the COVID-19 pandemic began more than one year ago.

For example, your friends might not be all on the same page when it comes to “returning to normal” now that restrictions are relaxing.

That’s why psychologist, marriage counselor, family therapist and relationship expert Dr. Karen Ruskin stresses the importance of compromise.

“[It’s about] techniques, being respectful of your friends while also understanding your own needs. So, therefore, finding a compromise. Sometimes it’s about doing what it is that they want as long as you’re comfortable with it. Enjoy it as well. But there’s no reason with friendship to push your agenda and to try and sell your perspective,” Ruskin said.

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But how do you clear the air with a friend who might feel hurt or neglected by you?

Starting the conversation can be as simple as acknowledging how much time has passed by, according to Ruskin. 

She breaks down how you can start that often difficult conversation:“’It’s been quite some time, I’d be very interested in re-establishing a relationship with you.’ That shows acknowledgment of time passed and a plan. Then their response will dictate what yours is next. If they are disinterested, say, ‘Thank you so much for sharing with me your true and honest opinion.’ That’s it, you don’t start going into your feelings and your emotions. Move forward. That’s a waste of your emotional energy.”

So what can you do if a friend doesn’t want to reconnect? 

Ruskin said when someone tells you they are “done” and cuts you off, believe them. Give them the necessary space they need and they might come back willing to talk. 

She said to instead focus on the closure you have knowing that you made an effort. Otherwise, you will hold on to feelings that won’t be healthy or beneficial for you.