Managing anger is something we all can learn | Editorial Columnists
As I read the national and local news and watch television, I am amazed at the amount of anger and animosity being spewed through street fights, shootings, domestic violence and bar brawls. There are even some instances where government officials are actually fist fighting. These violent behaviors happen primarily because those engaging in them have not been introduced to the 4 R’s: Respect, Rights, Responsibility and Restrictions. We must learn to deal with anger and animosity.
In learning to resolve conflict, it is essential that one learn to manage anger first. Of all of the human emotional feelings individuals experience daily, anger is the most powerful and poorly handled. Although anger is considered to be a healthy normal human emotion, it varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It has the ability to take control and become destructive, leading to unforeseen problems in your work and personal life, jeopardizing your and others’ quality of life.
Anger is a stronger feeling than love and can have a devastating impact on individuals who are unable to control their anger. In fact, anger affects the individual who is angry more than it affects the individual or individuals you are angry with.
For example, if you are angry at an individual every time you are in their presence, it affects you. Therefore, it is incumbent on you to seek methods to deal with your anger.
In addition, many are unable to understand the impact that anger has on the body. Anger affects every organ in your body. It also affects blood pressure, your hearing, vision, breathing and entire nervous system. Anger causes heart attacks and strokes.
In fact, of all the human emotional feelings, anger is the most powerful. Although anger is considered to be a healthy normal human emotion, it varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. It has the ability to take control and become damaging and destructive.
Moreover, most individuals really cannot recall what they say or what happened when they get angry. When asked “what do you do when you get angry?” many respond truthfully. They said they curse, strike others or hit a wall, use alcohol, do drugs, take revenge, shut down, name call, speed drive, get violent, cry and in some cases wish the other party was dead.
All of the reactions to anger are by and large negative and harmful to the individual and others. It confirms that anger can be a friend or an enemy depending on how you choose to express it.
Responding aggressively is the natural way to express anger. It is a natural adaptive response to threats. Anger inspires powerful, often-aggressive feelings and behaviors that allow us to fight and defend ourselves when attacked. Therefore, one can say that anger is necessary for survival. Feelings of anger are normal, something experienced by everyone, and a powerful feeling that one can learn to manage.
People use a variety of processes, both conscious and unconscious, to deal with their angry feelings. One cannot change, avoid or get rid of the things or people that enrage them. However, one can learn to control your reaction to anger. Knowing how to recognize and express it appropriately can help you reach your goals, solve problems, handle emergencies effectively, and protect your health.
The inability to recognize and understand one’s anger can lead to a variety of personal difficulties. Not until you learn to change your attitudes will you have the power and freedom to be your own person, capable of determining and achieving your goals and dreams.
It is not easy to change negative attitudes. It takes time and practice. Being able to act instead of react, and see an opportunity instead of a problem, is the greatest gift you can give yourself. We can do better.
Hezekiah Brown is a resident of Elizabeth City.
