Put down that pastelito and make yourself a salad. Don’t you know that Florida is one of the healthiest states in America?
Yes. We are healthy! At least, we are according to a study by The Daring Kitchen, a cooking platform that has been snooping around our rates of obesity, exercise habits and alcohol intake. Also our mental health, which in Florida you’d think would knock us straight to the bottom of the pile.
But no. The Daring Kitchen reports that Florida is the fifth most healthy state in the country, even after a year of pandemic-inspired sloth and gluttony.
Hawaii was the healthiest state, followed by Colorado, Arizona and California. The least healthy state was Kentucky [insert insensitive joke here because we are not gonna do it]. Also in the top five of least healthy states: Alabama, Mississippi, North Dakota and Tennessee. I don’t know what’s going on in North Dakota, but could someone drop off some Peletons to the Old South?
The study, which surveyed more than 3,500 Americans, also asked about general health habits. Here’s what they found:
- 57 percent admitted they did no regular exercise during 2020 and just sat around eating huge, steaming, comforting bowls of pasta and fistfuls of Swedish fish. Sorry, maybe that last part was just me.
- 21 percent said they liked to exercise. Note: They are lying.
- 71 percent said they wished they were healthier. But not enough to stop watching “The Office” for the third time or put down the ice cream.
- 73 percent eat take out once a month. Also lying. Nobody got takeout only once a month in 2020. Try every other day and twice on Sundays.
- 29 percent say they eat fast food on a weekly basis. Then what’s up with all those Pollo Tropical wrappers in your back seat, Tony?
- 44 percent said they worry about being overweight. Even in 2021, though, that’s not enough to stop us from abusing our relationship with croquetas.